Well, Eli has confirmed that the Giants are awful this year. Thinking of Eli trapped on this Giants team, I'm reminded of a line from the inexplicably oscar-snubbed film "Better Off Dead" - "That's a waste of a perfectly good white boy." Next year, kid. And, really, it's probably for the best since the sports media would have melted the internet with Manning v. Manning had Big Blue been good this year. Of course, this doesn't change my opposition to betting on or against the Steaming Eli's, it just makes it much easier to ignore any game they are playing in for the rest of the year. (Ed. Note - I may disregard this if Cowboys are at home and need just one win to clinch a playoff spot and Eli's in town. He loves ruining Jerry World almost as much as he loves half-asleep faces.
As for the rest of the picks this week, after much debate, we've settled on our play.
1. The Winner's Ticket - Texas A&M, Boise State, Michigan State, Buffalo, Kansas City.
Texas A&M is the sketchy pick here because they seem just a little reckless and Ole Miss will want a signature SEC win. The other picks look solid, although I can't say I'm in love with Michigan State. For some reason every school in the Big Boring seems interchangeable, so who knows how this one turns out.
2. College Teaser Parlay - Baylor (-11); Florida (+13); Boise (Pick em)
Adding Boise is dangerous because a loss at Utah State will sink two tickets, but we like the match up, feel that Boise is back to being Boise, and Utah State is in tough shape having lost its QB. That's the thinking at least. Have I mentioned that three team teasers are idiotic? We're about to find out. Baylor is on pace to outscore Warren Buffet's bank account, and I just don't see a banged up Kansas State team getting within 14 of them. The Florida pick is probably over-thinking things. We had LSU on the first draft of the winners ticket, only to be talked out of it by lots of writers who are convinced that Florida's defense and new quarterback have the Gators ready to jump into the SEC championship. I don't know about that, but I know they've done a lot of scoring lately and LSU's defense has let in a few points. If I wrote anymore, I'd talk myself out of it again.
3. College Super-Mega-Ultra-Upset Hail Mary - Washington (+450); Arkansas (+200); Northwestern (+370); Missouri (+280).
This is a $10 ticket to pay out roughly $2,900. That alone is all you need to know - i.e. we might as well have lit $10 on fire. This also looked much better when Days of our Jadeveon were playing out in Columbia. Now...? The logic here is that every year, there is a crazy weekend where a ton of upsets happen and we liked these match ups. UW is probably a reach, but I'm a homer. (Yes, I'm fully prepared to hate myself if the other three hit and the Huskies get smoked by 30 at home. This is why you should not bet on family.)
4. NFL Teaser #1 - New York Jets (+9); Kansas City (-2.5); Seattle (-7).
Covered earlier, but all three are at home and the Jets are now laying points.
5. NFL Teaser #2 - Cowboys (+1); Colts (+5); Cincy (-.5).
Let's start with the obvious. This ticket has no chance because we have bet on Tony Romo. Luckily, we are wagering considerably less than Jerry Jones has invested in him, so that's nice. I'm just hoping that the Skins continue to be terrible at defense, RGIII remembers his concrete cleats, and the Cowboys confuse them for Denver. We think the Chargers showed their true colors last week, and Andrew Luck is doing his awesomeness thing. He will be ridden until further notice. Fun fact about the Bengals - if he added black stripes in his hair, you would not be able to tell when Andy Dalton has his helmet on or off. Oh, he might also be bad, but we have to believe that he's better than Thad Lewis. Sure, those 10 wins he had in 4 years at Duke were something - something like 20% of his starts, the remainder of which were losses.
Having rationalized all the picks, I now have far less confidence than I did a few hours ago when we finalized them. Ugh. Have a good weekend!
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